Letting Go of Expectation: An ECE Perspective
Have you ever looked at your students and thought to yourself, “what is going on here?”
The question can apply to whatever setting you may find yourself in. Some children are unable to settle into their day. There is yelling, tears, and some cannot sit still. The class “rules” that have been set up as a group are not working. The agreed upon expectations are not being consistently met. The children are frustrated and you are anxiously looking forward to the end of your day. It’s only 10:35 AM.
Has your first thought when facing this situation been that something must be wrong with the kids?
You wonder why all your prep work is not enough to keep them occupied and engaged. Your perfectly planned carpet meeting is out the window because some of the kids zone out, while others wiggle around, won’t stop talking to their neighbour or just will not sit.
I have had many of these types of days. I took it all very personally. I believed that I was not doing enough and spent so much time chasing kids to do what I needed them to do in order to feel I was accomplishing a measurable result. Then one day it came to me that my need was not their need. My end goal certainly was not anything to do with the kids at all. I believed that the learning had to happen in one way only and that if we deviated from that nothing concrete could be achieved. Some of the kids went along with my carefully crafted plans because it just fit for them. Not every kid could meet MY expectation of what learning needs to look like. This has been many years in the making for me and I know that many Educators are way more in tune than I was at the start of my career. However, I also believe that we still have so much more to do before we can say with confidence that the needs of all kids are being met. Typical formal education is geared to one type of child. We would like to think that we look at all needs but in reality, I believe, that we need kids to fit in a box for typical educational experiences. I am being broad with my statements and am speaking from my experiences.
I had an “AHA” moment when one of my students sweetly expressed to me, “I want to sit still but my body does not agree.” Here was a five year old clearly telling me that his body could not do what was being expected of him at that moment. We brainstormed together about what was happening for him, about what was going on in the class and about what we could do to help him make it through the carpet time. He let me know that having something to hold, a fidget, might help. We have also discovered that having his back up against a firm surface is helpful for him. When we start to notice that the plan is not working as well, that is his body wants to get up or he wants to talk, we tweak the plan. Sometimes this happens weekly or every couple of weeks. It is an ongoing conversation. It takes time but it is well worth the investment.
What if I could do this for every student that needed that extra support?
It would be time consuming, but could it work in the long run? Could we find a way to accomplish that morning meeting without the constant talking at kids to remind them of the expected behaviour? The short answer is yes.
The deeper and more meaningful answer is meeting our students where they are at works wonders. Figuring out what each child needs for success is key. It allows the kids to be involved in figuring out what is helpful for them. It also keeps me accountable for not falling back on MY own expectations. It is daunting and never ending, sometimes constantly evolving. More often than not, you won’t have to do this with many of the kids. Imagine if each student felt supported and not singled out for not fitting in with the students that can achieve the expected behaviour.
What I am learning this year is how valuable observation of the children and our class space is. I had let that part of my practice go. Using observation and daily conversation with my work team has significantly made an impact on the number of behaviours that arise in the classroom. By observing and building on the children’s daily/weekly changing interests, we have been able to channel play in the direction that aids kids in their growth and fuels their imaginations. This is not to say that there isn’t conflict, but it has lessened the destructive play that was happening.
Conflict that arises in play becomes the perfect learning opportunity for our students. Without conflict how do children learn to navigate relationships?
I will leave that thought for a future conversation.
Yours in learning, growing and exploring,
Ruby
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Become a writer for our blog & comment below with your answers to these questions:
How do you let go of expectations to benefit your students?
Without conflict how do children learn to navigate relationships?
What structures would you like to see to support differentition?